Profile of Abuse
Although the abuser and the abused each have their own unique stories, they display abuse patterns that can be identified and dealt with.
Today's older woman faces a number of difficulties that are not necessarily experienced by younger women:
- She grew up in an era when divorce was frowned upon
- She may lack the skills to seek and find gainful employment
- She may have health or functionality problems that restrict mobility
- She may serve as a caregiver to an abusive partner whom she feels she cannot leave because of a sense of loyalty
- She probably is afraid of splitting her family apart
- She most likely does not have an independent source of income
- She is probably living isolated from family and friends
- She lacks a sense of self-worth and believes she deserves the abuse she suffers
- She has become resigned to a pattern of living that has gone on for decades.
There is no one profile of a perpetrator, however they often share some of the same characteristics, such as:
- Alcohol or drug dependence
- A history of domestic violence or abuse as a child
- A history of mental illness
- Economic pressures and personal stress
- Longstanding personality traits such as a bad temper, hypercritical attitude, or a tendency to blame others for their problems
Why do women stay? Why do they return? (Taken from the National Center on Elder Abuse Fact Sheet, 2005)
- Fear that disclosure will lead to something far worse - mental or physical anguish, deprivation, or even death.
- Fear of the unknown or of going it alone.
- Economic dependence - Who will take care of her? Where will she live?
- Fear of institutionalization - If she is frail, ill, or disabled, will she be forced to move to a nursing home?
- Values/Culture - Separation, divorce and legal orders of protection are not an option.
- Shame and guilt - Victims often blame themselves for any crime perpetrated against them. She often blames herself.
- Denial and minimization - She may feel she needs to protect her abuser by refusing to press charges or by changing her story.
- Lack of information about alternatives.
